YWAM on the Horizon

If you somehow managed to miss my media blitz announcing that I was accepted to YWAM then let this be your final confirmation: I’m going!

*Yay! Yahoo! w00t! Yippeee! etc…*

But now reality is beginning to sink in, as it usually does, and I’m starting to panic a bit. I was totally fine with the idea of raising some $5,000+ in funds for all the YWAM expenses like travel, room and board. No problem, God will provide, I’m great. That is, until I joined the YWAMconnect.NET online community for my PhotoGenX team. I’m totally camera insecure! People are talking about lenses and tripods and flash and battery and …. *make it stop!*….. *tears*……

I didn’t think the next struggle would be with jealous and insecurity around material things. Honestly, that’s never been a struggle for me, I guess, until now. I think the problem is I originally made the decision to give up all those great camera upgrades this year so I could go on YWAM. So all of my personal funds are going towards financing my trip instead of  the tools and equipment I’ll be using during the trip. Oh the irony! I think God still has a sense of humor.

I want it all! I want the new Canon 5D Mark II with a new flash, extra batteries and a vertical hand grip, along with a netbook or Mac to download all my pictures to. That’s not too much to ask for, right?

*Oh wait, reality…*

Maybe I should find some secret rich benefactors who want nothing more than to shower me with lavish gifts (ok, now I’m just being ridiculous and delusional).

The facts:

It’s still going to be a great trip. I still have a camera and some great lenses. And I’m pretty sure using my camera for one more year won’t be the worst thing that’s happened to me. I need to be grateful for what I’ve got. This whole jealous/rant will pass eventually. In the meantime I need to just keeping praying faithfully for the Lord to provide (something I’m already convinced of spiritually, maybe not-so-much mentally, if that makes any sense?). Seriously, I don’t know why I’m so worried. God was the one who spoke so clearly to me a year ago and lead me out here in the first place. I didn’t even know the first thing about YWAM, like what it stood for (Youth with a Mission). And now I’m here, in Hawaii, three weeks away from starting an epic six month journey around the world (well, at least half… and I bet it’s the better half!) with a whole new group of people.

PS. If anyone seriously wants to buy me some new equipment I can send you the links to amazon.com and b&hphoto.com.